5 Tips to Help You Stop Complaining.
Let’s face it. We all complain sometimes. But rarely is it beneficial to anyone involved. The reason why we do it is because it makes us feel better….at least for the short term.
The problem with complaining is that it doesn’t do anyone any good. In fact, it actually can hurt you in the long run. If you listen to someone complain too long you are more likely to take on that trait yourself. And not only that, studies show that listening to complaining for too long can actually make you dumb! In Trevor Blake’s book “ Three Simple Steps: A Map to Success in Business and Life”, he says that research shows that exposure to 30 minutes or more of negativity – including viewing it on TV – actually peels away neurons in the part of the brain that you we need for problem solving. He says that basically it turns our brains in to mush.
So here are 5 steps you can take to help you stop complaining:
Step 1: Learn to replace complaining with asking for something different or taking action that will help you achieve what you want. If you’re in a situation you don’t like, either work to make it better and find a solution, or leave. We complain about things that we know could be better and we can actually do something about. Think about it, you never hear anyone say “Uh, I hate that the sky is blue. My favorite color is red, why can’t it be red?” or “I hate gravity. I just wish we could float around everywhere. This sucks.” No. We complain about things we can change because we know that something better exists, so either change it or get the heck out of there
Step 2: Ask yourself: “On a scale of 1 to 10 how bad is it?” This will help your brain put the situation in to a different perspective and help you out. If it’s lower than a 5, accept it and let it go. If it’s a five or higher, do something about it and change it.
Step 3: Feel it out. Like I said before we complain because it makes us feel better. So if you need to feel it, hash it out in a journal or call up a friend with an open ear and vent it out. But make the promise to yourself that once you do so you’ll let it go. And then do that. Let it go.
Step 4: If you’ve tried to take some action and it didn’t work out as planned, focus on the positives. I was working with a client once that talked to her professor about her feeling like her work load was too heavy. The prof basically said “too bad”, and so there was nothing she could do. We then flipped it around and focused on her outcome. She came up with all the reasons why she didn’t want to leave the class (she needed it to graduate, it was her dream career, she had already worked so hard…) and by focusing on her final outcome, it made it not seem so bad.
Step 5: Stop the conversation. If you find yourself in a situation where you’re with someone who won’t stop complaining all the time, either leave or just politely change the topic in to something more positive. Lightly guide them in to another conversation that will benefit the both of you and make you smarter, not dumber.
I hope these tips will help you. Any questions or comments please leave them in the comment section below. If you would like to work with me one on one, you can contact me at firstname.lastname@example.org.
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